You're changing and I can't handle it.

Kent has changed so much this month. He's really a different kid and what used to be easy is now harder and what used to be simple is more complex.

He's not as easy going as before. I'll say "let's get our shoes on to go outside" or "it's time to get dressed" or "after this book, I'm going to change your diaper" and cue total. meltdown. I don't know why "let's go upstairs" is even a trigger. Or "let's go downstairs"! I'm perplexed. I've tried giving him a time cue, like "in a minute, we'll do XYZ," but it doesn't matter. He still freaks out as if I'm doing it now, and not in a few moments. I hope he outgrows this soon because 20 meltdowns a day is excessive. 

He tries sorting toys or containers with lids and can't quite get it on properly. He knows it's tricky and gives up in total frustration, throwing the object and sometimes screaming too. Life is tough, man!

He also gets upset when he's finished his favorite food and you still have some on your plate. I've learned to gobble up faster than him, all while teaching "this is mine, that is yours". You guessed it: meltdown. He now notices when we're eating sweets. What will happen when we want ice cream this summer?!?!?!

He doesn't go to sleep easily like he has all his life. I don't know if it's separation anxiety or if he just wants to continue playing. He cries and cries, and all comforting is nullified as soon as we step towards the door. Since this has gone on for close to an hour, we've just had to let him cry it out. So far, it's been working, but I've also learned that he needs a longer wind down routine than he used to, and maybe that has something to do with his cognitive development recently. 

He wakes during the night. :( This never happened before, except on rare occasions and we chalked it up to teething or a cold. We've had to let him cry it out because we can see that he's manipulating us: as soon as you come it, he'll go quiet and say "doudou" and show you his blanket. Even when Matt would walk in and get him calm again, he'd say "maman? maman?" Stinker. 

He wants to be held constantly - after waking, and often during walks. He's incredibly clingy to me, and refuses to be held by Matt. He doesn't want to stand on the step stool to watch breakfast being made. He wants to be in your arms. LUCKILY I bought a Beco carrier this week on craigslist for a steal and it is a game changer. The carrier will be incredibly useful in airports and hiking. He can even fall asleep in it and the hood will keep his head and neck comfortable. 

He used to feed himself and insist on holding the utensils. Now, most days, he wants you to spoon feed him. Why all these changes?

Here he is not having a meltdown, even though he collapsed the tunnel for our car races:

And yet, this morning, I made a mental list of all the things I love about him that I don't want him to grow out of:

The way his chubby fingers turn pages and look for whatever makes him smile: a dog, a ball, a guitar, a flag, a moon. 

The way he holds my fingers when we're on walks around campus. During the moments when he wants to hold it, it's so sweet to feel his strong grip.

The way he says "aaawwww" whenever he comes into contact with anything super soft: my hair, some pompoms, a fluffy stuffed animal, a feather from our down pillows. 

The way he points to the stereo and starts wiggling, asking you to turn on the music.

The way he picks up something of mine, or Matt's and declares "Papa." or "Maman." as if he's explaining to me whose it is.

The way he picks up a ruler or a racket or a cardboard tube (anything that looks like a golf club and then says to me: "ball?" in a questioning voice.

The way he sometimes says PEAS (please) unprompted!!! It catches me off guard every time.

The way he looks up at me and grins, then puts his head back on my chest while we're sitting in the rocking chair.

Don't ever change little buddy.