I does not zee very well

After couple years of grad school, I went to an optometrist to have my eyes checked. If you had been there you might have heard things like; “WOOWW you don’t have glasses yet!” ; “You have a crazy stigmatism!” ; “You’re going to wear these everyday right?” The various comments were punctuated with chuckling, and what looked like winks, but how would I know. . . it was nice to see that everyone was having a good time. 

I do now have glasses, but I only wear them while reading. Sometimes it gets me into trouble. Yesterday for example, “seeing” a girl I knew sitting outside I went up to her. Suddenly I had doubts so I paused, stood right in front of her and tried to figure it out. She glanced up at the squinting freak in front of her, and I can confirm that when our eyes met there was no spark, just pure, unadulterated awkwardness. Nope didn't know her. Me: “Hey nice shoes” (run!).