Pressing on...

SPOILER ALERT: Day 3 so far is a big disaster. Culprit: clothes.
There's a reason why the author of the book said to keep your potty training days under wraps, because once you tell friends and family, the comments and opinions and momjudgment will start rolling in -- not that anyone has done that!! -- but here I am about to tell you about some major fails.

But let me back up to yesterday, a second naked day. He self-initiated a pee at 6 am when he woke. Then Sir Camel held it until 10 am when he started in the livingroom until I shoved him in the direction of the potty seat and he finished there. I was getting nervous around 9 am and kept reminding him where the potty was. At 9:30, I was sweating. We were playing a puzzle and TWICE he left me behind and sat on his potty, then decided to hold it again, and came back. I said "it looks like you have to go pee-pee. Why don't you go in the potty over there!" And nope. I don't know why he sat on it twice and then decided "um, nope".

Successful pee at noon and a dry two-hour nap. Yay.

I decided we needed some practice with UNdressing, so I put some elastic waist shorts on him and attempted to teach him to hook his thumbs and push down to his ankles. Cue: tantrum. every. attempt. Why is that so scary? I modeled it and then it was Kent's turn, but Kent kept repeating "Maman's turn".

3:30: he initiated a pee on his own. Good boy.

After that, we were all a bit itchy to get outside, so I put those shorts back on and let him play in the sandbox by the house. Matt was on the deck working and I was starting to prep for dinner. At 4:30 he screamed PEE PEE over and over. Matt didn't get what was going on (he was absorbed in his work), but it was too late. Shorts were wet. I got him inside and showed him where the potty was, then he sat down and pooped. Again, no communication, just sitting when he needs to go. I wish I had been watching him closer in the sandbox, but since he doesn't show me he has to go (not grabbing, not dancing around), it's tough to tell.

Day 3 is today. I decided that he's been successful when naked, but that the real learning has to happen with shorts on (no underwear since that's real snug like a diaper). I remember the author saying that her clients do well and then everything gets mucked up with clothing.

Kent peed 15 minutes after he woke, then 20 minutes later pooped all by himself (we hadn't gotten him dressed yet). Well that was a good start. He wore shorts and I took him grocery shopping for 3 items. He didn't pee on me or in the car, so that was great! I was pretty worried.

But at 9:45 I let him visit with Matt in the dorm lounge for a tiny little bit and what do you know - a huge pee and this time a poop that fell right down his shorts. Sigh. I explained what he needed to know, but he kept saying "diaper". I think he thinks his shorts are his diaper. At 11:30, dressed in new shorts, he peed in the livingroom and lost his balance standing in it. Sheesh!

Here are my thoughts: I need to get him to speak up. I am telling him "Kent, say: Kent peepee, when you have to go." Even if he doesn't learn to push down his pants by himself, at least he can alert me and I can help him.

Two conflicting opinions about potty training (from two books):
1) tell the kid to sit on the potty at varying intervals. A lot of people do this, but one author says that that's asking for a power struggle. What toddler is going to interrupt his play and "try" to go pee when he really doesn't have to? Then he starts resenting that stupid potty chair.
2) remind the kid where the potty is and prompt him to go use it when he feels the need. A lot of trust is handed over to the kid (= scary for the parent!). Instead of saying "go sit on the potty and try to pee", say "tell me when you have to pee/poop".

I've tried both and whenever I ask Kent to sit on the potty he yells "NO" because kids love to refuse everything, even if it's something they love. When I try to physically put him there (ex: before we left the house for a small errand), he throws a tantrum. It must feel like punishment to sit there if he doesn't need to go. All of his success has been when I back off and remind him to use it and he does it on his own. Biggest road block today has been his shorts. And, he doesn't tell me anything. He DID the first day: he'd say "pot pot pot" and walk over to it. A couple of times, he said "peepee" as he walked over to it. But today there's been accidents without any communication.

Matt says I'm a lightweight - that I'm all deflated after a couple of accidents and some challenges. I hope to prove him wrong and I hope this afternoon will get better, otherwise, Kent will remain naked and confined to the house until he starts school. And that sounds like a very bleak life.